Dear Friends, Family, and Followers of My Blog:
I’ve been hospitalized for (I think) a week now, and wanted to share a bit about what happened to hospitalize me.
The last two months I’ve been more and more anxious about finishing school and not having enough money to pay my debts (student loans and credit cards). My diet went from a whole foods diet to what I call a “food shelf diet” (everything being canned, boxed, gmo, and preserved). I have also been developing the symptoms of the cold, the flu, and strep throat, but when I went to the doctor, they tested me and everything came back negative. My immune system had been compromised due to all the smoking and partying that was happening in my apartment complex. Also vivid memories had been flooding my mind of past traumatic experiences!
Also, my rent has been raised to $60 a month when I only received $20 a month extra from disability. They’re turning my apartment complex into a dormitory for the Art Institute which is across the highway. These students are becoming the kind who party all the time and try to buy my dogs for the day, making me feel very anxious and insecure when I walk my dogs.
I attempted to relieve my stress by writing, walking my dogs, and prayer, but it wasn’t working very well. So while I was walking the dogs the day I was hospitalized a passerby let me try a Black and Mild, the kind of tobacco I’ve tried in the past that had a calming effect on me – but now I believe it was spiked with something (but not PCP, they checked my system for that) I had previously tried Black and Mild in 2010 when dating J. – a smoker.
I ended up with a psychotic break instead.
It is now believed by my doctors and care practitioners that I have schizoaffective disorder. Along with my bipolar and depression and all the other diagnosis I have or have had, I’m dealing with about 14 things at this point. At this point I’m not sure which diagnosises are correct. While I’ve been in the hospital I’ve also been put on a few anti-psycotic drugs and Ambien which have caused my stay here to be longer.
I was put on Rysthseridol and Ambien the first night, and at the time because of the psychotic episode I wasn’t able to remember my allergies and I didn’t have a list of them with me because almost everything got left at home. Theses drugs made me sensitive to light, and I had intense muscle tightness and soreness. I also sleep walked. For 2 days they had me on a tranquilizer, Zypraxa, and I was anxious and paranoid, light sensitive, kept to myself in my room, slept every two hours, I either felt hot or cold, and my blood pressure got a little high. Then they put me on some other drug, then on Trileptal, which is currently working – even my fibromyalgia pain has decreased. Since I’ve been on this drug, I’ve been much better. My thoughts are clear and I’ve been having linear thought as opposed to scattered. I’ve been able to function totally since taking the Trileptal (being social, cleaning my room, doing laundry, eating, sleeping at appropriate times).
Please pray for me… I’m in physical pain. I’m was also being affected by their products here with metal in them, and I was having aluminum poisoning; I became paranoid about everything until I remembered that I’m allergic to aluminum and nickel. They replaced everything with hypo-allergenic things, and put me on a kosher diet.
Amazingly, I’ve met many new friends here, who’ve helped me put together my scattered thoughts about my business plan, and now I feel ready to take on that challenge with a force to be reckoned with (a force I couldn’t manage before).
The people in my life have been so supportive to taking dictation of my notes to them and emailing them to them, so things can be taken care of. And I appreciate everyone for helping me, especially since I haven’t been able to use my phone or the internet! I can finally see how all my hard work fits together. The scattered puzzle is becoming clearer and clearer to me. And my new friends want to be a part of it too. It’s all very exciting!
But I need your continued prayers, positive thoughts, vibes, sent my way as I transition back into the real world. Thank you to absolutely everyone for your prayer, support and encouragement. It means so much to me right now. I love you all so much!!!
A Note from Thea:
I’ve received news that Emily gets out of the hospital today! \o/
Also, about the number of diagnoses Emily mentioned she has been given, I want to say that this isn’t necessarily saying that she has 14 different things going on. It’s entirely possible for the same person to go to two different psychologists and get two different diagnoses. What this means is that all the people who have given these diagnoses have tried to explain things the best they could, and they just all happened to disagree with each other. That doesn’t mean that this can’t be diagnosed, only that a rethinking of all these diagnoses and what’s really going on may be in order, and that such a rethinking may even result in only one diagnosis, or at least a number that’s nowhere near (and nowhere near as confusing as) fourteen.
(Disclaimer: I say all of this as a psychology student in the midst of her third year of her Bachelors degree. It’s my best guess, based on what knowledge I have, and I’m fairly confident in my assessment of the information, though I am also aware that it may well not be entirely accurate.)
The point is this: Emily’s health is improving, she’s found both effective medication and an effective diet to help her live a healthy life, and she’s getting out of the hospital today. I have every confidence that the road from here on out will only continue to be positive and, even if there are setbacks, they will not in any way destroy healing’s progress.
Thank you everyone for your support and help. It’s so cool to see a tangible example of love and caring, and to be a part of it in action. Y’all are awesome. :D