(I’m letting go of my perfectionism in this post.Be warned, there may be typos, grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors.)
About Letting Go
I took a workshop the other say about letting things go. Lorca Smetana of A Dove Above led it and she talked about how letting various things go can open up the space for something new.
There are so many things we collect in our lives; people, places,memories, stuff, emotional attachments, clutter, etc. You get the idea. I signed up to go to the workshop because I’m in the process now of letting things go and I wanted the support to help me continue letting things go. Some things are easy to let go of, others not so much.
Physical items that have emotional attachments are one of those item categories that are really difficult. I had a couple items in this category a while back (way before taking the workshop) and I wanted to let go of the negative emotions attached to them so I could bring them out of storage and enjoy them again. At the time I worked with Tina Robbins of Open Roads Coaching. She had me work through my emotions and memories attached to the objects while I was physically seperated from them.
In the end I was able to get to the root of my negative emotions and let them go so I could put my pretty decor items out on display again. I was so thankful I was able to let go of those negative emotions, because those emotions were not serving me in a positive way.
There are emotions that can be attached to people and places too. I let go of many negative emotions attached to my ex and where I used to live. By moving away from MN, where I was crippled by PTSD, by the constant memories and flashbacks of my abusive ex. That was a huge step in my healing process which allowed me to start letting go of smaller negative emotions. Every time I’ve tackled the emotions then let something go my world becomes more positive, lighter on my shoulders, the depression lifts a bit more. (I want to note I worked on my emotional issues before moving. I went through DBT and counciling to face my negative emotions towards myself and my ex before I moved.)
Another category is people, sometimes letting go can be easy, other times it can be difficult. There are so many people in our lives; friends, family, acquaintances, colleagues, strangers you pass in your daily life, neighbors, and those random people you met-stayed-in-touch-with-but-don’t-really-talk-to-any-more. Some of the people in our life are good, kind, helpful, and positive; we want to keep these people in our life. While other people are toxic, draining, and negative; we want to let them go. It will open up space in our life for whatever it is we are striving towards.
After the workshop I realized there were some new people in my life that were draining me; when I first met them a couple months ago I thought knowing them would have a different effect. But we can’t aways know how people are until we get to know them better. I made a choice to let them go and I felt a weight lift off me and I’ve felt much lighter since making that decision to let go.
This category can take more time to let things go. Sometimes there are emotional attachments that compel us to keep more things then we want or need around the house (or tucked into storage). Other times it’s the sheer amount of items that intimidates us into inaction. But we can work through one thing at a time so it’s not so overwhelming.
I’ve been letting go by donating to charity, gifting perfectly usable items to friends and family, posting some things on Craigslist, and selling my stuff on Amazon. I started with the easy things I just wanted to go, there were many things from my move that were not serving me any more, and those things I got rid of first. Then I started selling things on Amazon, it’s awesome selling on Amazon, the listings don’t expire like they do on eBay, and you can price them at what they are worth unlike on Craigslist where it’s typically more like a digital garage sale. Plus, on Amazon, there are no upfront money costs, just the time to make the listing (and most stuff is already on there), you just add your item, short description, condition, and price you want to sell it for. (Over the holiday’s I got my first 2 customer reviews and both were 5 stars!)
It’s a process, working through the emotions, through any expectations we have of ourselves, and taking the time to heal if we need to, putting in the work, and then letting it go. It’s helpful to talk about our emotions, so find a trusted friend, or professional coach, therapist, or counciler to aide you through the process. I know it’s not the easy, if you need some friendly support send me a message and I’ll be happy to listen and share.
I’m continuing to work at letting go too. I want to make space to spend more time with friends, work on building my business, future travels and adventures, and I don’t want to be bogged down by too many things when I’m ready to take the next big step. My dream is to live in France for a while, experience Europe, and so I’m starting to prepare now.
Letting go may take time and effort, but the process is worth it. Healing goes a long way towards making space for what we’re striving for.