I’m positively terrified about letting myself be myself in front of people, let alone online where there are unknown factors looming over my head, and complete strangers reading my very personal thoughts and words.
And at the same time I am really excited that I am going full-force into this new concept (for me) to be divulgant about my thoughts, ideas, lessons I’ve learned, the emotions behind the art I create, the reasons I keep pushing myself to overcome (dis)abilities.
Anxiety Can Be Overwhelming
It’s really an anxiety provoking process – letting ones self be known to others.
I get it. I really do. I just had an anxiety attack before writing this post and when I couldn’t find someone I trusted to talk to online, I sent my friend an email about it all.
(I proposed I would write a post about the whole thing, and so I am. Obviously, here it is, since you are reading it.)
Being that I’m writing it at 1am, it’s not really the kind of time to be calling people.
My point is this; you’re not the only person who freaks out about letting their true selves out, to be either accepted (or) rejected. I’m doing it right now, and I just had an anxiety attack over it.
Don’t Be A Sitting Duck
Quoting myself from an email I wrote to my friend; “I know logically that people will either hate me for it or love me for being myself, and that I can’t please everyone and that its better to be on one side of the road or the other side of the road, not a sitting duck in the middle. Mediocrity is not something I want.”
I don’t want to be the duck that got ran over by the mother driving her minivan full of soccer kids!
Getting Help From A Friend
My friend wrote back right away too:
“The fact that you even put this on paper is really good. Don’t let the fear win.”
After emailing my friend and free-writing all my thoughts and feelings and getting it all out in the open, I was able to overcome the anxiety attack and start breathing again, and that is important to thinking straight again.
Whether you suffer from Anxiety attacks or nervousness, no matter your fears, it’s normal to have them. The extent to which they effect you may be different (we are all different) – just begin to accept that fear is natural and okay – then take some deep breaths, get some fresh air if you need to (it does help, I know from past experience), write it down in a personal journal (for your eyes only), and begin to overcome it.
I’m right there with you.
How do you overcome the fear of being yourself?